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Bill - Tit for Tat...

While the Gates' are moving in from their temporary quarters nearby, final construction of their new house is not expected to be completed until the end of the year. Now if I were the contractor with a sense of humor...

Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"

Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."

Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room: or you can use a Stacker."

Bill: "Stacker?"

Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."

Bill: "Uh... I Dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! Thats easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: " Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

Contractor: "That’s a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resource preventing access from other fixtures."

Bill: "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."

Bill: "That’s the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"

Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it."

Bill: "And when will it be fixed?"

Contractor: "Oh, in your next house - which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays..."

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Santa Singh to Bill Gates

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,


This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer
for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your
notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ******
appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but
we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware
vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.
I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.


2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button.


3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request
you to check this.


4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run '
has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so
that we can click that by sitting.


5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find
only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.


6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??


7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.


8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect
ur money.


9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Please congirm about "exit" button because here is only "Enter" no "exit"
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